A few days ago I commented on a quote by John Maxwell who said, “Commitment is the result of choice, not conditions…commitment lasts when it is based on values.”
Today this quote came back to my mind and I felt the need to once again put my thoughts to “paper.” It seemed the big news of the day was that Lo Lo Jones, a beautiful…and I mean BEAUTIFUL… female athlete training for the Olympic track squad came out. No, no– not to say she was gay but to say she was a virgin. Oddly enough it grabbed many headlines on different news outlets. Lo Lo admitted she has been taken back by the stir it has caused. She insightfully made the tweet that far less coverage and interest has been given to well-known celebraties who come out with a sex tape!
In some ways the fact that it has been such a news story is a sign of how desensitized we’ve become to the plight of our own moral erosion as a culture. I was impressed with how she handled herself in a recent interview where she admitted that her commitment to stay a virgin until marriage was in fact harder than training for the Olympics! But she went on to say that she sees it as a gift– a gift she is committed to only giving one person in the context of marriage.
This got me thinking more about commitment. For you see I too am a card-carrying member of the V-club. And I faithfully pay my dues every year– hoping and praying it will be my last year. As I pondered my own virginity at the age of 35 (yikes!) I naturally began to ponder my own commitment to virginity until marriage… because commitment is indeed where it starts and ends. Many people today would say: “It’s not possible in this day and age to remain a virgin for so long! The conditions of our society have drastically changed and it is unreasonable and outright stupid to encourage people to attempt such self-control!”
But alas these remarks betray a failure to understand the power of commitment. As Maxwell says, “Commitment is the result of choice– not conditions.” I choose to remain a virgin until marriage not because of modern culture, but in spite of it. Moreover as Maxwell also insightfully reminds us, “Commitment lasts when it is based on values.” This is in essence the key. For when I think back in my own life and consider the obstacles and challenges of temptation that I have overcome (trust me, my virginity ain’t because of a lack of opportunities!) I am struck by the simple fact that I have remained committed to the underlying value of my virginity more than the basic concept of virginity.
In other words the value I have long sought to commit myself to is the desire to not only be faithful to my wife after I marry her, but I choose to be faithful to her before I marry her– despite not knowing her yet. Any commitment is possible to keep when you are committing to your own personal values. Only in doing so can you weather the storms of opposition, distraction and temptation. Never underestimate the power of one committed.